"There'll be other chances,"I said.
"When?"he asked. "I've never heard of a freak show playing around here before. When will I run into one again?"
I didn't answer.
"You wouldn't have liked it, anyway,"I said. "It's not as much fun as you think. Imagine what it's like in the middle of winter, when you have to get up at five in the morning and shower in ice-cold water and work outside in blizzards."
"That doesn't bother me,"Sam insisted. Then his tears stopped and he got a crafty look in his eyes. "Maybe I'll come along, anyway,"he said. "Maybe I'll sneak into one of the vans and stow away with you. Mr. Tall would have to take me then."
"You can't do that!"I snapped. "No way!"
"I will if I want."He grinned. "You can't stop me."
"Yes, I can,"I growled.
"How?"He sneered.
I took a deep breath. The time had come to scare Sam Grest away forever. I couldn't tell him the truth about me, but I could invent a story almost as horrifying, one guaranteed to send him running.
"I never told you what happened to my parents, did I, Sam? Or how I came to join the freak show?"I kept my voice low and steady.
"No,"Sam said quietly. "I've wondered a lot, but I didn't want to ask."
"I killed them, Sam,"I said.
"What ?"His face went white.
"I go crazy sometimes. Like the wolf-man. Nobody knows when it's going to happen, or why. I was in a hospital when I was younger, but I seemed to be getting better. My parents brought me home for Christmas. After dinner, while I was in a fight with Dad, I flipped out.
"I tore him to pieces. Mom tried to drag me off, but I killed her too. My little sister ran for help, but I caught her. I ripped her apart the same way I'd ripped my mother and father.
"Then, after I'd killed them..."I locked eyes with Sam. It had to be a good act to make him believe. "I ate them."
He stared at me, stunned.
"That's not true,"he whispered. "It can't be."
"I killed and ate them, then ran away,"I lied. "I was discovered by Mr. Tall, who agreed to hide me. They have a special cage built to keep me in when I go crazy. The problem is, nobody knows when it's going to happen. That's why most people avoid me. Evra's okay, because he's strong. So are some of the other performers. But ordinary humans... I could rip them apart in a second."
"You're lying,"Sam said.
I picked up a large stick lying nearby, turned it around in my hands, then put it in my mouth and bit through it like it was a big carrot.
"I'd chew your bones and spit you out as gristle,"I told Sam. I'd cut my lips on the stick and the blood made me look ferocious. "You wouldn't be able to stop me. You'd be sleeping in my tent if you joined the show and would be the one I'd go for first.
"You can't join the Cirque Du Freak,"I said. "I wish you could - I'd love to have a friend - but it's not possible. I'd end up killing you if you joined."
Sam tried responding but couldn't get his mouth to work. He believed my big lie. He'd seen enough of the show to know that things like that could happen here.
"Go away, Sam,"I said sadly. "Go away and don't ever come back. It's safer that way. It's better. For both of us."
"Darren, I... I..."He shook his head uncertainly.
"Go !"I roared, and pounded the ground with my hands. I bared my teeth and growled. I was able to make my voice much deeper than a human's, so it sounded like a wild animal.
Sam screamed, scrambled to his feet, and sprinted for the woods, never once looking back.
I watched him go, heavyhearted, certain my ploy had worked. He'd never be back. I wouldn't see him again. Our paths had separated, and we would never meet again.
If I'd known how wrong I was - if I'd had any idea of the awful night that lay ahead - I'd have run after him and never returned to that disgusting circus of blood, that revolting circus of death.
Chapter TWENTY-SIX
Iwas moping around when one of the Little People tapped me on the back. It was the one with the limp.
"What do you want?"I asked.
The tiny man - if it was a man - in the blue-hooded robe rubbed his stomach with his hands. This was the sign that he and his brothers were hungry.
"You just had breakfast,"I said.
He rubbed his stomach again.
"It's too early for lunch."
He rubbed his stomach again.
I knew that this would go on for hours if I let it. He would patiently follow me around, rubbing his stomach, until I agreed to go hunt for food for him.
"All right,"I snapped. "I'll see what I can find. But I'm on my own today, so if I don't come back with a full bag, tough."
He rubbed his stomach again.
I spit on the ground and took off.
I shouldn't have gone hunting. I was really weak. I could still run faster than a human, and I was stronger than most kids my age, but I wasn't superfit or extrastrong anymore. Mr. Crepsley had said I'd be dead within a week if I didn't drink human blood, and I knew he'd spoken the truth. I could feel myself wasting away. A few more days and I wouldn't be able to pull myself out of bed.
I tried catching a rabbit but wasn't fast enough. I worked up a sweat chasing it and had to sit down for a few minutes. Next, I went looking for roadkill but couldn't find any dead animals. Finally, because I was tired and half afraid of what would happen if I returned to camp empty-handed (the Little People might decide to eat me!) , I headed for a field full of sheep.
They were grazing peacefully when I arrived. They were used to humans and barely lifted their heads when I entered the field and walked among them.
I was looking for an old sheep, or one that looked sick. That way I wouldn't have to feel so lousy about killing it. I finally found one with skinny, trembling legs and a dazed expression, and decided she'd do. She looked as though she didn't have long to live, anyway.
If I'd had my full powers, I would have snapped her neck and she would have been dead in an instant, without any pain. But I was weak and clumsy and didn't twist hard enough the first time.
The sheep began to bleat with agony.
She tried running away, but her legs wouldn't carry her. She fell to the ground, where she lay bleating miserably.
I tried breaking her neck again but couldn't. In the end I grabbed a stone and finished the job. It was a messy, horrible way to kill an animal, and I felt ashamed of myself as I grabbed its back legs and hauled it away from the flock.
I'd almost reached the fence before I realized somebody was sitting on top of it, waiting for me. I dropped the sheep and looked up, expecting an angry farmer.
But it wasn't a farmer.
It was R.V.
And he was mad as hell.
"How could you?"he shouted. "How could you kill a poor, innocent animal so cruelly?"
"I tried killing her quickly,"I said. "I tried snapping her neck, but I couldn't. I was going to leave her when I couldn't do it, but she was in pain. I thought it was better to finish her off than leave her to suffer."
"That's real big of you, man,"he said sarcastically.
"Do you think you'll get the Nobel Peace Prize for that?"
"Come on, R.V.,"I said. "Don't be angry. She was sick. The farmer would have killed her anyway. Even if she'd lived she would have been sent to a butcher in the end."
"That don't make it right,"he said angrily. "Just because other people are nasty, it don't mean you should be nasty, too."
"Killing animals isn't nasty,"I said. "Not when it's for food."
"What's wrong with vegetables?"he asked. "We don't need to eat meat, man. We don't need to kill."
"Some people need meat,"I disagreed. "Some can't live without it."
"Then they should be left to die!"R.V. roared. "That sheep never did any harm to anyone. As far as I'm concerned, killing her is worse than killing a human. You're a murderer, Darren Shan."
I shook my head sadly. There was no point arguing with somebody this stubborn.
"Look, R.V.,"I said. "I don't enjoy killing. I'd be psyched if every person in the world was a vegetarian. But they're not. People eat meat, and that's a fact of life. I'm only doing what I have to."
"Well, we'll see what the police have to say about it,"R.V. said.
"The police?"I frowned. "What do they have to do with it?"
"You've killed somebody else's sheep."He laughed cruelly. "Do you think they'll let you get away with that? They won't arrest you for murdering rabbits and foxes, but they'll charge you for killing a sheep. I'll have the police and health inspectors come down on you like a ton of bricks."He grinned.
"You won't!"I gasped. "You don't like the police. You're always fighting against them."
"When I have to,"he agreed. "But when I can get them on my side..."He laughed again. "They'll arrest you first, then turn your camp upside down. I've been studying the goings-on there. I've seen the way you treat that poor hairy man."
"The wolf-man?"
"Yeah. You keep him locked away like an animal."
"He is an animal,"I said.
"No,"R.V. disagreed. "You are the animal, man."
"R.V., listen,"I said. "We don't have to be enemies. Come back to camp with me. Talk to Mr. Tall and the others. See how we live. Get to know and understand us. There's no need to -"
"Save it,"he snapped. I'm getting the police. Nothing you can say will stop me."
I took a deep breath. I liked R.V. but knew I couldn't allow him to destroy the Cirque Du Freak.
"All right, then,"I said. "If nothing I say can stop you, maybe you'll respond to something I do."
Summoning all my remaining strength, I threw the dead body of the sheep at R.V. It struck him in the chest and knocked him flying from the fence. He yelled with surprise, then with pain as he landed heavily on the ground.
I leaped over the fence and was on him before he could move.
"How did you do that, man?"he whispered.
"Never mind,"I snapped.
"Kids can't throw sheep,"he said. "How did -"
"Shut up!"I shouted, and slapped his bearded face. He stared up at me, shocked. "Listen, Reggie Veggie,"I growled, using the name he hated, "and listen good. You won't go to the police or the health inspectors. Because if you do, the sheep won't be the only dead body I drag back to the Cirque Du Freak today."
"What are you?"he asked. His voice was trembling, and his eyes were filled with terror.
"I'm the end of you if you screw with me,"I swore.
I dug my fingernails into the soil at either side of his face and squeezed his head between my hands, just enough to let him know how strong I was.
"Get out of here, Reggie,"I said. "Go find your friends in NOP Stick to protesting against new roads and bridges. You're in over your head here. Me and my friends in the Cirque are freaks, and freaks don't obey the same laws as other people. Understand?"
"You're crazy,"he whimpered.
"Yes,"I said. "But not as crazy as you'll be if you stay and interfere."
I stood and draped the sheep over my shoulders.
"Going to the police would be useless, anyway,"I said. "By the time they reach the camp, this sheep will be long gone, bones and all."
"You can do what you like, R.V. Stay or go. Report me to the police or keep your mouth shut. It's up to you. All I have left to say is this: To me and my kind, you're no different from this sheep."I gave it a shake. "We'd think no more of killing you than we would any dumb animal in the fields."
"You're a monster!"R.V. yelled.
"Yeah,"I agreed. "But I'm only a baby monster. You should see what some of the others are like."I smiled nastily at him, hating myself for acting so mean, but knowing this was the way it had to be. "So long, Reggie Veggie,"I said sarcastically, and walked away.
I didn't look back. I didn't need to. I could hear the chattering of his terrified teeth practically all the way back to camp.
Chapter TWENTY-SEVEN
This time I went straight to Mr. Tall and told him about R.V. He listened carefully, then said, "You handled him well."
"I did what I had to,"I replied. "I'm not proud of it. I don't like bullying or scaring people, but there was no other way."
"Actually, you should have killed him,"Mr. Tall said. "That way he could do us no harm whatsoever."
"I'm not a murderer,"I told him.
"I know."He sighed. "Nor am I. It's a pity one of the Little People wasn't with you. They'd have chopped his head off without a second's hesitation."
"What do you think we should do?"I asked.
"I don't think he can cause many problems,"Mr. Tall said. "He'll probably be too scared to go to the police right away. Even if he does, there's no evidence against you. It would be an unwanted complication, but we've had plenty of dealings with officers of the law in the past. We could cope."
"The health authorities worry me more. We could hit the road and lose them, but people in the health department tend to trail you around like hound dogs once they've got your scent.